Thursday December 14th, 2017 at 9:40 PM.
My day was ruined as soon as it began.
I cried today.
That doesn’t happen to often, but I am a frustrated crier.
My roommate, who was supposed to take me home tomorrow, texted me saying that her mom said the weather is supposed be terrible tomorrow. We’ll see.
I was livid. I was so angry my hands were shaking.
It’s not because she couldn’t take me home. Well, it is, but it really isn’t.
I asked her three weeks ago if she would be okay with staying on Friday and taking me home, since her last exam was Thursday. She said yes. Which was fantastic. I asked multiple times, many different times, if she was sure that it wouldn’t be a bother to take me home Friday, since she would have to stay for an extra 16 hours. Her answer was always that she didn’t mind.
It’s winter, she knows what the weather is like in winter, so I am mad that she just didn’t say no.
Another point (because there are multiple things I took issue with) I just thought of, if the weather is supposed so bad, it’s better to have my parents do the drive here and back, when you would one way.
I 100% think she was using her mom as a scapegoat.
Last week, she told me that her new boyfriend was taking her to the hockey game on the 15th. I, again, mentioned that I have an exam that day and asked if she was sure that she didn’t mind taking me home. Side note: she broke up with her other boyfriend a month ago and she’s probably been dating this guy for a month. She relies on guys like she relies on oxygen.
Today, she texted me at like 9:15 AM and asked if I could find another ride. It jolted me awake. This is when I started to get suspicious because if she ever has to talk to her mom she has to wait until at least 11 AM. Then, I remembered the hockey, and checked the weather, and there was no snowstorm coming, and I immediately knew this was bullshit.
I was also getting angry, because she wouldn’t answer the question.
She also said that she wouldn’t leave me “high and dry.” Yet, when she left today she asked if I had a ride, and I said, but she still left. Seems a little like leaving someone high and dry. And that she “would never leave you here”, yet here I am at school. She also said that she wasn’t a shitty person, but then said “it’s up you” to decide whether or not she was going to take me home tomorrow. Asking that question, makes you a shitty person.
I am going home tomorrow. If anything bad happens, I will 100% blame her for the rest of my life.
We still went to lunch together today. We said three words to each other. I did tell her not to talk to me when she got back to the dorm, because either I was going to cry, or make her cry. I didn’t think either of us wanted to cry.
I also may have mentioned that she ruined our semester together. I never that I wasn’t one for the dramatics.
I probably won’t talk to her again until January 21st, 2018. Sounds about right. Grudges are great aren’t they?
I did ask her if she made it home alright.
I honestly will never trust her in this capacity again. Especially, because this isn’t the first time she said she would do something and she does the complete opposite.
I called my mom and cried, and she told me not to let it bother me and focus on my exams.
My mom called me a lot today. I think she could tell that I was on the verge of an emotional breakdown. I think that she was genuinely concerned.
She is coming to get me tomorrow.
I did ask a girl in my class if she wanted to study together. She said yes. I really don’t think that I could’ve emotionally handled a rejection. We met at the library. I don’t know how much I really retained, but I’m proud of myself, because I asked.
I definitely need to review a little more. Maybe tonight, definitely tomorrow.
I also went to get dinner by myself.
It made me think that transferring wouldn’t be too awful, but it actually probably would be.
But, 3rd time’s the charm.
I need to stop.
I have no idea how I am going to take my differential equations exam tomorrow. It’s going to be brutal.
I just remembered that I am going to have to get breakfast alone tomorrow.
I need to stop all of this now.
It is now 10:12 PM.
My high of the day – my mom handled this situation a lot better than I did. My low of the day – my roommate.
It is now 10:27 PM.