Blog #184, Day 194.

Tuesday March 7th, 2017 at 9:36 PM.

Today was marginally better than yesterday.

I don’t know how to do any of the corrections for my calculus test, and I don’t want to go to her office hours, but I’m definitely going to need to, and it’s definitely going to suck.

My only way out is if the one of the girls in my class lets me take a picture of her test, but I’m way too scared to ask, so I probably won’t.

I actually went to the library today, by myself. I never went before and I didn’t know where the personal study areas were, but I eventually found one. I’m not going to lie I am pretty proud of myself for going. Which kind of sounds dumb, but I am dumb, so oh well.

I think I just heard thunder.

It rained pretty much all day today, and I straightened my hair, so I was a little worried about my hair getting curly again.

I actually walked in the rain for Tim Horton’s, and they didn’t even have hash browns, and the coffee obviously wasn’t good, because it rarely is good.

I tried to study for my midterm on Thursday, but I really don’t know how to study, and it’s becoming a huge problem.

I am terrified to see my grade tomorrow for my math structures homework.

That actually a great transition, because I am also terrified that I am going to have to repeat this semester over again.

But I did pass my economics test, and scored above the average and median.

Today and yesterday I have felt like I could cry all day long, but didn’t, so maybe I’ll do that tonight. My roommate isn’t going to be back tonight, so really it’s the opportune moment. I really don’t want to cry myself to sleep though, because that sucks.

I don’t know. I’ve just been really disappointed with myself recently and hard on myself, but I think deserve it so I’m not going to stop.

At dinner my friend and I discussed a lot of like “deep” personal things, and one of them was making friends, and how difficult it is. The main point I made was that it’s hard to believe someone could like you, and want to be around you, when you don’t like yourself, and you don’t want to be around yourself. It’s just tough.

These have been a rough couple of blogs.

It is now 9:57 PM.

My mom called me twice today, which is kind of weird, because we went a whole week without talking, and it seemed as though she could sense I’m not having a good time right now.

Tomorrow will be better.

It is now 10:01 PM.

My high of the day – the act of me going to the library on my own for the first time was pretty big for me I’m not gonna lie. My low of the day – I don’t think I accomplished anything on the studying front.

Goodnight,

Emily

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