It’s Thursday September 1st at 10:03 PM.
I am in my first year of college in a private university. And I hate it. I am actually only seven days in, and I am going home for the weekend tomorrow (although my family thinks I am not going to return). I am a math major, even though I don’t really know what that entails. I already have an essay due about my journey to academic literacy, whatever that means. I mean I learned how to read and write, but is that really what my professor wants a three page paper about?
It is now 10:41 PM. I am listening to Closer by The Chainsmokers.
I had to take and intermediate break to talk to my roommate, as we are only a few (seven) days in we take any chance we have to talk and “bond”. She was getting ready to go to a “small get together” at the college across the street. If you ask me it is a little risky to have two colleges that close to each other. You may be wondering why I am not going to a party, or hanging with friends, or well probably not. It isn’t too complicated for me, I have had the honor of receiving the “addict” gene, which means I have gone eighteen years without ever drinking or smoking (legal or otherwise).I figure if I never do it then I will not have to worry about having any dependency issues with it, right? There is also the fact that I have my first class at eight o’clock in the morning.
Well I might as well get to the point of why I have started this blog. I guess it is because I thought that maybe someone would read it and more importantly someone will relate to how I am feeling.
Like I said before, I hate it here. The only way I can really describe it as is feeling like I am trapped here. It has been a week since check in day and only four days into classes, but I just have this feeling of being out of place. My family has kind of given me a hard time about it seeing as it has only been a week. They feel like I am not enjoying it enough, which is really annoying. It’s actually annoying for multiple reasons. Here’s a list.
1. It’s annoying when anyone tells you how you’re feeling.
2. They aren’t here and they do not know what it has been like here.
3. I am the first in my family to go to college, so basically they are all living through me.
I know that I should appreciate my family, and I think I do, but it has just been really frustrating. I do not know if they think I am homesick or just a complainer, but either way it is probably true.
Naturally, since I have screamed from the rooftops my very strong disliking of it here I have already started the transfer process. I have filled out applications for two other schools, and I have a meeting with the Dean of Students tomorrow.
I guess there is another reason I am writing this blog and I have just realized this now. I am writing this blog for me. I hope that I am able to use this as a way to vent how I feel when I feel like I cannot tell anyone else. Also I started this to challenge myself and hopefully distract myself. I want to be able to look back and see how I have grown and changed.
In the end it is 11:08 PM.
I have given myself a bedtime of 11:00 PM, so I guess I didn’t do too bad. If anyone is reading I would like to offer my most sincerest apologies for my overuse of commas and my bad grammar (especially the run-ons). I hope to update everyday, even though I know you shouldn’t set unrealistic goals for yourself I think I am going to go ahead and do it.
Okay it’s 11:12 PM.
I got to go,